Since I happen to think that cake and marshmallows are two of the essential food groups, it’s pretty important that I hit the gym on a regular basis.*
*When I feel like it and am not busy eating cake and marshmallows.
Which means that when I go to the gym, I’m going to burn as many calories as humanly possible**. I’m not going to flirt. I’m not even going to make eye contact with people, just in case they might later recognize me in public after having seen me at the gym.
**So I can eat cake for dinner.
I mean, don’t get me wrong. I have cute workout clothes. They make me feel perky and healthy and dedicated to running.
A miracle, because I hate running. I hate it with the fire of a thousand suns.
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